Monthly Archives: September 2020

If “Cuties,” the controversial Netflix show, bothers you, AS IT SHOULD, please take time to read. This is a warning about the vile content of the show, why we should be vocal in opposing it, and also why we can’t allow the “sexualzation” of everyday kids not featured on a Netflix special to continue.

In light of the recent buzz about this immoral show, we are right to respond in a manner that denounces it on a macro-level, meaning how it affects our culture as a whole. Likewise, we are right to open our eyes WIDE to the micro-level effect and how such a “genre” affects children and families individually. We are called be “wise as serpents” continually “searching our hearts for any wicked way in it.” (Matthew 10:16; Psalm 139:24)

This is an open letter to parents regarding “Cuties,” and how I believe the publicity of it has revealed a deeper, more personal heart issue: our battle, as primary influencers in our children’s lives, against inappropriate content and undesirable behavior.

Many of you know my dance history, which is relevant to my stance on appropriate self-expression in fine arts. I was steeped in the art of dance and music for 20 years, guided mainly by my mother and also dozens of wonderful mentors. Because of this life experience I support free-expression through fine arts, specifically dance and music. Art imitates life and is a medium for many people’s stories and ideas to be heard. However, there is NO PLACE for young children to be exploited and call it “art.”

“Cuties” has shown the cultural shift in what’s considered acceptable in exploiting people, in this case children. The writer claims her intent was to “tell her personal story.” However, it seems to me the content of “Cuties”—whether her goal or not—was used at best as a shocking head-turner, and at worst a plunge into a dark agenda.

On a macro-level we are called to strongly oppose such disturbing content from becoming the status-quo. I see many doing this though social media platforms, rightfully shining a light on darkness. We must not turn a blind eye to this blatant attempt to corrupt minds and hearts.

I personally believe our micro-level response is just as important as our macro-level response, maybe even more so. In rejecting “Cuties” with our words and actions, yet ignoring similar behavior seen in our own lives, it has been laid bare many are condoning the very troubling behavior we claim to hate.

Parents, we have the obligation and personal responsibility to protect our children from darkness. The reaction to this show’s content is a wake up call for us to be alert and filter what we allow to influence our kids’ hearts.

We MUST do better monitoring what content, in this scenario music and dance, we allow our children to participate in. Our protection, or lack therefore, will directly impact their hearts and therefore their behavior for a long time to come. Future choices are often directly related to what was permitted in a young person’s life and heart.

Many are choosing to cancel Netflix, a powerful, worldwide company. This personal choice is a justified protest against the company, which requires a monthly fee. Refusing to financially support it any longer makes a bold statement: hit ‘em were it hurts! Likewise, public outcry over “Cuties” and constituents petitioning their representatives has spurred Congress to open an investigation into Netflix. I consider these macro-level responses honorable. Instead of just posting “this is gross, the world is horrible,” people are choosing to use their voice to call for change. These macro-level actions are to be applauded.

Friends, there is no space for children to be allowed to hear, sing and then mimic heart-damaging lyrics, filled with bad language and sexual content. There is no room to allow them access to media content where artists are often robed in scandalous outfits or costumes, performing “sexualized” dance moves. In this broken world immoral activity sneaks up on us. But do they shock us enough to intervene and fulfill our responsibility to protect our kids? Not doing everything we can to turn their sweet eyes from such things is neglecting our role as a parent. Period.

There will be times when your child is confronted head first with content you had no idea was coming. Then you’ll have to do some damage control, explaining what was inappropriate, why it was and how we don’t follow such behavior. We must even explain how this behavior can often lead them into a journey they will one day regret.

Then there will be times you as a parent(s) make the decision to watch a show or listen to music with your child that renders discussion before and/or after. For an example, we decided our kids were allowed to watch Hamilton the musical. Our children love musical theatre and have seen many like Newsies, Mary Poppins, Wicked and Shrek. With Hamilton, we knew the music and and choreography would be different than previous musicals they’ve seen. The story line is forward and powerful, and some lyrics contain colorful language. My children know these are words they are not to use, and they fully understand some content is for adults.

My husband and I decided, however, the benefits outweighed the risks and allowed them to watch. Personal family values should guide us when faced with choices like this. What my family decides is okay may be different than what your family decides. However, I am not speaking to content that can broaden your child’s appreciation of the arts with issues properly addressed. I am speaking to content that will influence them in a way that can lead to devastating outcomes.

Condoning inappropriate expression through dance, or any pastime for that matter, is wrong and misleads a child to believe this behavior is okay, because mom, dad or instructor allows it. Writing it off as “cute” or harmless is ignoring our parental duty . In doing so, we better be ready to own that we are creating our own “cutie” environment which is every bit as damaging to our children, young adults and even adults as the show itself.

If we are denouncing this show publicly, but allowing our children free reign and access to questionable content privately, we are walking in hypocrisy. How can we be vocal about cultural atrocities, yet not address the spiritual and emotional vulnerability we fail to reject in our personal lives? Furthermore, if we allow the “sexualization” of our own kids, we are blatantly ignoring the correlation it has to poor decisions they’ll make in the future based on what was permitted in their young lives.

Trust. Me. On. This. We will be responsible for what our lack of shielding leads to in our children’s hearts and lives. We, not government or networks like Netflix, are commanded by God to guard our kids’ hearts from sin that can lead to spiritual death. No law is going to protect them and their innocence. No bill passed is going to personally lead them to light and truth. It is our responsibility as parents to use God’s word, wisdom, discernment, grace and guidance to do this.

So if we find ourselves publicly canceling Netflix and calling Congress while privately allowing our child to memorize sketchy lyrics and act-out mature, questionable dance moves…we better be willing to recognize this exposure leads down the same road of brokenness we are publicly demanding be banned.

For the sake of our kids, we must be consistent in our call for modesty, innocence and proper expression through the arts. When we see repulsive material sneaking into our children’s world we must speak out just as quickly as we speak out against shows like “Cuties.” It doesn’t matter if it’s in your four walls, or being used to win a dance or music competition; call it out in protest and cancel it from your family’s life.

Our children’s spiritual purity and growth isn’t worth any award or attention gained from family and friends. There is no room for being okay with it; we can’t allow our lack of supervision or lack of awareness to welcome the enemy into our family. We can not embrace passionate macro-level responses while neglecting our micro-level responsibility.

John 10:10 says “the thief, our spiritual enemy, comes only to kill, steal and destroy.” But in God, we are equipped with supernatural power to fight the enemy. By doing so our kids and our families can have life in full. Please heed this word: fight the enemy, not only publicity on social media, but privately in your home and community.

Let’s usher in “full and abundant life” for our children and families. We have “all we need for a life of holiness” (2 Peter 1:3). With God’s grace and guidance, we can win the battles attacking us on every front. Rise up, parents. Rise up.

Have you ever felt led by God to join Him is His redemptive work, but feel you have failed God too many times to be of use? Do you look at your past or current state and think, “I don’t have a right to champion this cause because I have sinned far too much?” Friend, I have amazing news for you! Good News. GREAT news!

In light of our current climate, I want to use standing up for racial equality as an example, because it is near to my heart. Please don’t stop reading now. We all need to hear this, because it relates to whatever arena God has called you into. The Bible says “there are different ways to serve, and they all come from the same Lord.” (1 Corinthians 12:4)

Contrary to the lie the devil is telling you, you don’t have to have a perfect track record on race relations to take a firm stand now. None of us are perfect, and each of us— white, black, brown, “tan,” as my kids call themselves—are sinful by nature, bending toward freshly biases. We’ve all made, and will keep making, choices that go against God’s way. It’s what we do as humans, we rebel and turn from God. Trust me, I can say with zeal, “I am the chief of sinners,” yet God still graciously uses me. (1 Tim 1:15)

BUT GOD has so lovingly given us, through His Holy Spirit, wisdom and discernment so we can ask Him to squash our sinful ways. Praise God! He can use us for His Kingdom regardless of our wretched heart! He can show us our wicked ways (Psalm 139:23-24) so we can slowly but surely become more like Him…and less like us.

Being limited in our ability to choose God over self is the just the stark reality of being alive. We are flawed beings who serve a flawless God, and rely solely on his saving grace each moment. It’s why we ask God DAILY to show mercy on us, and forgive us for our trespasses, because we ALL are trespassing against one another in some way. But, this doesn’t mean God can’t equip and use you. He has called you to step out of the darkness and into the light! (1 Peter 2:9) We are to call the devil a liar when he tells us we aren’t good enough for God to use!

It’s never too late do the right thing. I don’t care if you have been a blatant sinner against the very thing God has now called you to. Repent and WALK BOLDLY IN THAT CALL. I say this from personal experience. Never believe the lie that you aren’t equipped to be used for His service. It is not only in large, well-planned, church-organized times God uses His children. It is in the small moments in honest acts of love in action that God makes His biggest impact.

I’m so thankful, and also abhorred, when God shows me my sin and helps me correct course, because that’s not where my story ends. In fact, it’s the only place it can begin.

Be blessed, y’all! ❤️🙏🏾🕯

Marriage. It’s not always easy, y’all. It is a fine balancing act between two completely different people. I’ll give you an example. My husband isn’t a candle person. Like, at all. But every morning I light a candle and enjoy it’s glow against the budding dawn. He still doesn’t love candles, but he’s grown to understand that the sight and smell brings me a sense of peace, like several small things do for him. God often uses small things like a candle, or in my husband’s case a Saturday watching college football, to grow our hearts and build our fortitude for bigger things.

This is applicable not only in marriage, but in all relationships. Many people are taught in counseling about the importance of “compromise” to keep harmony in a relationship. Oftentimes this is true, my husband and I have agreed to compromise on several issues over the past 18 years. I don’t believe, however we should use only compromise–a term meaning one or both parties concedes something they value–for our relationship obstacles.

While looking at my lit candle this morning, God reminded me of a better way to work out differences in beliefs. I believe a lasting union is less about concession and more about laying down our pride while working to see and know another’s heart and motivation. In doing so we are ultimately saying, “Even though it differs from mine, I will honor your belief because this tells of my love for you.”

For a long time I’m sure my husband saw the candle and rolled his eyes. (Maybe he still does!) But over time he grew to understand the sentiment behind my candle. He didn’t ask me to compromise, rather he chose to lay his own agenda aside and see things from another’s perspective. His example causes me to search my own heart. At whom am I rolling my eyes instead of creating space to see know their heart and understand their beliefs?

While the example of a simple candle is minuscule in relation to the broader challenges in our relationships it’s a picture of how small acts of understanding are fundamental to more significant acts of understanding. It is a glowing reminder to examine our hearts, deny ourselves and let love and wisdom guide the difficult conversations.

I’m not sure about you, but my initial response to an alternative belief often stems from from a pride-filled desire to be right. We must recognize our natural bend is toward pride, defensiveness and self-righteouseness. When we acknowledge this fleshly, often embarrassing, truth about ourselves we can then beg God to remove these sinful attitudes from our hearts and minds. Such sins feed off one another, quickly stomping out any chance of unity.

With God’s help we can approach relationship challenges from a place of humility, faith and love. We can pause, listen to understand, and deny pride and arrogance a foothold in the conversation. My husband chose to open his mind and heart to a belief different than his own; this small act of understanding blesses me and increases our unity.

Where in our lives can we do the same, especially where another’s belief helps them on their journey to peace, holiness and wholeness? In every relationship we can practice love and understanding which guides us into deeper, purer, more enduring relationships. Using wisdom and the Holy Spirit as a compass, two or more can live more harmoniously no matter the differences in beliefs. When we choose to “put on love and become a people of perfect unity” we are choosing to live as Christ and be Christ to others.

–Collosians 3:14